Loving without Limits

Someone once told me, when you love, you love. There is no degree to loving.

Leo Tolstoy defined love with this:

“Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love. Everything is united by it alone. Love is God, and to die means that I, a particle of love, shall return to the general and eternal source.”

But what is love really? We often use it carelessly - a word so full and deep lost of its true meaning.

Defining love cannot be separated with how you love.  It is a conscious and a total effort of giving in one self to the beloved. Last Sunday, we were shown how to love the real way in How's Your Love Life? and Loving God Passionately in CCF service.

Everything begins with love and what we love takes hold of our life. If we love God then, then we know He holds our life. He directs our being in our daily living.

But how do we say we love Him? Is it just a mere acknowledgment that we do? A mere escape from the lips and an empty public declaration?

Loving God and even just simply loving includes a total involvement of the heart, soul, mind and strength. It is giving our best because we are enjoying the gift from the Lord.

In Luke 10:27 it is said,

He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; ...

How does it mean to love God with all our heart?

Loving God with all our heart means surrendering even our emotions to God. We love Him in our own self, our own personalities, our reasoning. But our focus is on Him, not on us. We just simply love him the way we love. The way we make time for our beloved, our family members, our friends. It is a commitment of the heart. Putting Him first above everything. Dropping everything to be with Him the moment He calls you. Fearing to break His heart and disobeying His will.

As Bob Pierce of World Vision said, "Let my heart be broken with the things that break the heart of God." It's the ultimate love that binds, that is courageous to stand up for your beloved, and hurt with things that hurt him.

Loving God with all our  soul...

Means valuing God above everything even in sin. It is dying to your sin and the temptation to sin every day of your life. It is denying the lust of the eyes, flesh and the pride of life. To what extent are you willing to suffer for your beloved?

More importantly it is also this...

At this point, who or what is your LIFE?

 Are you willing to give it up for God?

Loving God will all your soul is the union of loving God with our personality and everything that "gives us life and breath" in this world.

The people who inspire you, the thing that motivates you, you give to God. He or She is God's. Your work, your family is God's. Everything is God's. Giving all these up for Him is a sign of total commitment to God - of how much you love Him with your soul. Placing Him above your family, your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, children, work, and passions.

Loving God with all your MIND...

When you love God with your mind, you love Him in truth. Sometimes people use the term "God's will" as an expression to justify situations and even their actions, however they do not consult His will.

How do we know of His will? God has provided us with His word to know what is true and what is right.

Loving God with your mind is aligning of what we know is TRUE to what TRUTH really is. There is a constant truth, one that doesn't change through time and goes across cultures and different upbringings. This is the truth of Scriptures.

It is also consulting God and viewing things from His perspective as we make decisions. The way to know His perspective is to constantly fill ourselves with His word. The more we are exposed to Him, the more like-minded we become with Him.

It is understanding His love for us by loving our neighbors. Imagine loving someone who wronged you.  That is how fully encompassing God's love is for us. That's what we are called to do - to love without limits, without choosing who to love.

Loving God with all your STRENGTH...

Is devoting to glorify Him with every breath of our lives.  God gave his 100% for us to love Him 100%. We are capable and complete to love and be loved back.

It also means giving back to God entirely. Not half-baked, not half-full. It is wanting to make ourselves useful for God. The greatest kings in the Bible did not desire significance, they were after working for God. Why?

It simply is because we are so grateful of his blessings, we enjoy it so much and we want to give Him the best. Like when someone gives you a gift when you don't expect it, you feel like  you cannot thank that person enough and you are willing to return the blessing you received. Or when someone has forgiven you when you did not deserve it.

That's what God's grace does to you. It is an undeserved gift, an unmerited favor and thus we cannot help but give Him our all.

It is a mistake to think that we are not enough or that we are weak to give this 100% of ourselves.

God is telling us, "Don't think about your weakness, but think about my strength."

"In your weakness... I am strong" 2cor 12:11

God will again help us pull through to love him 100%.

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Loving God passionately is to depend on Jesus totally. It is obeying him even if it is not easy for us but because we know it is right.

The moment we love God begins the moment we can love everything the right way :)

Transforming Power of Prayer

Last week, I was able to join Dawn Watch though online. I was really moved by Pastor Bong's message on praying meaningfully.

All of us have prayers and usually our prayers are what we want in life. We ask God for requests may it be small decisions to major ones.  As simple as a prayer like, God if it is your will, may I be able to travel this year, may I be short listed for my dream career, may my business succeed, or that my love life will blossom. We also tend to give God deadlines or even ask for signs, I myself am guilty of that.

When the deadline is up, we see no signs and we find that our prayers are not answered the way we want it, we become frustrated and then rebel against God. We choose to do things our own way because we feel we can't trust God on certain aspects in our lives. We try to control everything and force things to happen in fulfillment of our desires.

We fail to understand God's higher purpose and focus on ourselves rather than on Him.

As Pastor Bong said, Prayer is not about answers but rather an encounter with God. It is not changing the will of God but changing our will to conform to God's will.

The power of prayer is that as we pray unceasingly, we may not know it but we are slowly purified and transformed into the likeness of Christ. We see how big God is and how little our problems are. We see our total dependence on Him and we are humbled by knowing that we alone cannot make things happen without Him.

The best answered prayers are the prayers that we wait upon and pray earnestly for. And the reward of that answered prayer pales in comparison for the relationship that has been established between you and God.

Never stop praying. Pastor Bong reminds us with this:

If the request is wrong, God says no.

If the timing is wrong, God says slow.

If you are wrong, God says grow.

BUT...

If your request is right,

timing is right,

you are right, God says YES. God says GO.

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God knows what is best for us. He knows our deepest desires even before we speak about them. We may think that earthly riches would make us happy, but God gives so much more to make us happy when we seek Him first. He gives us all things for us to enjoy.

"Pray sincerely, never stop knocking.

Pray until His kingdom is established in our hearts.

Pray until we conform our hearts to God's plan.

Pray until God becomes bigger.

Pray until HE becomes your everything."

3C's of Building Positive Relationships: Connect, Communicate, Compliment

Yesterday's message at CCF was very soulful. I was very blessed to have heard and witnessed the message which was about Building Positive Relationships - an excerpt from Pastor Peter Tan-Chi's sermon at Pastor Bong's 2pm service.

Every human is a relational being. We are built to have relationships with each other, relate to God and to one another. As it is always said, the family is the basic unit of society. Within the family these relationships are developed, built and strengthened. However it is also within the family relationships have the potential to be broken.

It is then important for us to nourish the relationships that we have at home as early as you can to be able to have the best relationships with people around you. It all begins with how the parents raise and relate to their children.

(1)

We are given 3 concrete steps on Building Positive Relationships. 1st of which is to CONNECT.

Parents usually busy themselves with work and other things that they forget how to become parents to their children, how to become the support system their children needs. Some might rationalize that today's environment is very competitive, it's a dog eat dog world out there. We have to work hard for our children, everything we do is for them anyway. Then they go home tired, cranky and just plain drained of every day's work load. Too tired to listen, too tired to connect, too tired to become a parent.

For 2 weeks that I was able to become independent of my mom since she visited my cousin abroad, I personally felt the drain of taking care of myself,  everything and everyone else around the house. Leading me to wonder how parents could possibly do all these and even sustain all these things and with kids no less.

I honestly salute all parents and especially those who despite of being the working parents they are still manage to be there for their children. However I am quite disappointed with those who aren't there more so those who don't even make an effort to be there.

Because even if you play the role of the busy, overworked parent, you can still CONNECT with your children. But if you think life is already too much for you, or for those who aren't married yet and think having a family will solve all your relationship issues, then please don't be a parent.

When you say CONNECT, it means speaking your children's language, knowing their interest and doing what they like. It means watching cartoons with them even if you'd rather watch the evening news. It means bonding with them over food they enjoy which most of the time means fast food. It means being involved with their interests and activities. It means building bridges to your child's heart.

(2)

2nd C of Building Positive Relationships is to COMMUNICATE.

Think of this: busy parents off to work, come back home, spend little to no time with their children, then children try to get the attention of parents, do bad in school, get called in the office so on and so forth. Then parents scold them, give them a spanking, punish them to no end.

Does this look right to you?

Some parents believe their way is the only way. What they say goes. Obey me OR ELSE.

They use their Size and Position to discipline their children. I am bigger. I am your mother. I am your father.

One thing I remember from Pastor Tan-Chi is that you can be strict if you have a relationship. He is like that with his children. Once you have built a relationship with your children, they will understand that behind every NO is your bigger concern for them. They would know that behind every NO is for their own good.

Parents also have the tendency to CORRECT.

Their children would open up to them whether about daily musings or decision making and here the parents come judging and correcting. Would the child still open up if parents are so? Little by little parents would lose involvement in their child's life and their influence would be no more. Slowly children would ease their parents out of the picture even in major decision making where parents would usually want to become a part of.

COMMUNICATION then is not "Did you do your homework? Good" or even less "How could you do that!! You are such a naughty child!!" Or worse, I dare not say.

COMMUNICATION is about LISTENING more than anything. Listen to them in their joys, their frustrations. STRETCH YOUR PATIENCE, JUST LISTEN. Stop yourself from giving advice, criticizing, correcting. There is always a right moment for talking, hear them out first then control and filter yourself in speaking out your peace. Not only would you build a relationship with them but you will also gain their trust and their confidence in everything.

(3)

Last C of Building Positive Relationships is COMPLIMENT.

Correct me if I'm wrong but men aren't usually expressive. Fathers might be so as well. They see their kid performing well in school, well and good. They see their kid doing bad, they start to talk. and talk. and talk. Some don't even talk, they let their kids experience physical punishment alongside mental torture. They give them the belt, the basement, the attic, everything really horrible and traumatic.

Pastor Bong is right, a speck of dust on a white sheet we see, but we don't see that the white is much greater than that dust. We don't see the bigger picture. Everyone is like that. Parents included.

Everyone needs to be accepted and affirmed. Some just might need more affirmation than others as per Love Languages. Children need those too. They become confident if their parents believe in them. They are pushed to do more because of the simple "You're doing great!". Once you criticize, you not only ruin your character but you also destroy the esteem of your children. Would children love to be around parents who criticize? Your children will start pulling away from you and turn to others and when this happens, you might not even have the slightest chance to do the things you wish you should have done.

So, nourish each relationship with a true and honest COMPLIMENT.  Plant these little seeds in their heart that these may grow to make them better children, and better people. Correct them when they do wrong, COMPLIMENT when they do right. Make every moment they have with you as pleasant as you can. They will remember these for always.

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Being a parent is indeed difficult. It means giving your 100%. It means putting their good ahead of yourself. It means more than just providing but rather sitting down, giving time, listening, communicating, and giving the constant affirmation they need.

I am not a parent but parenting as Pastor Tan-Chi says begins 20 years before. Your lifestyle, your character, your knowledge you have the tendency to bring to parenthood. So as much as possible even if we don't know what the future holds, if I become a parent or not, I should start correcting my ways in order to become if not the best parent, the best relational being I am made to be.

Every moment that passes is a moment lost forever. Cherish every moment with your children, teach them about Christ, spend time with them and really talk to them. Do not wait for the time that you wish you had done something. Do not wait for the time that you wish you had played with them more, talked to them more, be the mother or father more, be their friend more because you will never have that chance again.

Look back on good memories with your children, I haven't experienced it all yet but I know that it would probably be one of the best feelings and achievements in the world - that you have brought them to Christ, influenced them positively and then you would be at peace. You have done something good. You have done something right.